


What do you do when the seas stay silent?

by hakkais_shadow



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Angst with a Happy Ending, Community: sncj_santa, Jongin will love puppies no matter what AU, Kaiju (Pacific Rim), M/M, Mild Smut, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Secret Santa, Sehun is angsty, Tags Are Fun, i love aus, why do I keep writing Kai and Sehun fics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 16:55:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9194399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hakkais_shadow/pseuds/hakkais_shadow
Summary: After the first Kaiju erupted from the Breach, still waters became a distant memory...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2016 sncj_santa exchange on Livejournal

_2013 - South Korea_  
  
  
There was a stillness in the air, even through the gentle breeze that lightly tossed the small skiff as it bobbed on Cheongpyeong Lake. The birds who usually serenaded the boat’s two occupants were surprisingly silent as well and that didn’t sit well with one of them.  
  
“Harabeoji?”  
  
The voice was young and painfully earnest and the old man regarded his fishing partner with a degree of gravity (even as he bit back a smile). His youngest grandson seemed to bear the weight of the world on his slim, nine (‘and a half’ the boy would remind him) year old shoulders, each word heavy with thought and purpose.  
  
“Yes, Sehunnie?”  
  
“Why are the fish not biting today? You said that if we fished out here and let them come to the bait we’d be successful.” The solemn-faced little boy looked town at the near-empty bucket in disgust, as if in some way the bait had betrayed him. “We’ve only caught 2 all morning and they are tiny. Halmeoni won’t be happy and she’ll scold you.”  
  
The old man pulled his straw hat down over his eyes to block out the sun, then reached over to adjust the boy’s own hat, chuckling softly as he did so when the boy tried to bat his hands away. “That’s because the water is too still, Sehunnie. The fish want to stay at the bottom of the lake. They need something to inspire them, to make them want to move. I’ve learned it’s better to come out in the rain to fish but your grandmother would hear nothing of that and she’s right. I don’t want you to catch a cold.”  
  
The little boy huffed and rolled his eyes, tiny arms crossed in front of his thin chest. It was obvious that he clearly was not impressed by his grandfather’s logic. “But that’s no fun, harabeoji. This is boring. I wish Appa would come home. He’s always got good stories. He’s a pilot, you know.” That same thin chest puffed with pride as Sehun thought of his father.  
  
The man’s smile flickered at the edges, a haunted look briefly crossing his creased and sun-browned face. “Something tells me that we’ll be wishing for silent waters soon. My old bones feel it.”  
  
It was not long after that the first Kaiju erupted from the Breach… and still waters were a distant memory.  
  
  
 _2024 - Shatterdome, Hong Kong_  
  
“Earth to Sehun…..Earth to Sehun…”  
  
The blonde man blinked, frowning as he slapped at the fingers wiggling in front of his face, causing the owner of said fingers to yelp and snatch them back, muttering something about cranky pilots who needed either more caffeine or to get laid….or all of the above in any random order.  
  
“Serves you right, Chanyeol. That’s what you get for disturbing Hun when he is in one of his moods. I’ve heard he bites,” Kyungsoo said blandly as he turned back to his meal - but not before giving Sehun a brief wink.  
  
“Sorry,” Sehun murmured apologetically, looking in the taller mechanic’s direction. “I was just thinking.”  
  
“Yeah? You and Kyungsoo seem to have that problem - you think too much,” Chanyeol muttered, mouth half-full (which of course made Kyungsoo murmur something about ‘unmannered heathens’). “What about?”  
  
“The past,” came the response, his tone guarded and Sehun’s face as blank as it could be, which was saying something in one the Jaeger mechanics (Chanyeol included) called Ice Prince behind his back.  
  
“That’s kind of a broad topic, Sehun,” Kyungsoo commented, not pushing further even though Sehun knew he wanted to. The battle programmer was probably the closest thing Sehun would allow himself to call ‘friend’ - mainly because the other man didn’t push things (or, more appropriately, push Sehun). It was because of that that Sehun amended his comment.  
  
“I was thinking of my grandfather.” There was the vaguest hint of softening in Sehun’s voice, regret flickering at the edges of the words.  
  
“Ah….I’m really sorry you couldn’t attend his funeral,” Kyungsoo murmured gently. The comment earned a guarded shrug from the younger man. “You know it wouldn’t have been possible, not with the new attacks. What’s done is done.”  
  
 _At least harabeoji is safe now._  
  
Sehun’s thoughts were once again interrupted by Chanyeol’s unguarded enthusiasm. “I hear you are getting a new partner, Hun. Any idea who it is? It’s been a couple months since Joonmyun’s injury. Head honchos have been having problems finding someone to pair up with Becket. Maybe they want you with him.”  
  
Sehun shuddered. “I hope not.” Sehun had heard of Raleigh Becket - everyone had. Legendary pilot of Gipsy Danger. Responsible for the downing of 5 Kaiju, 3 of them solo. Of course that last fight against Knifehead had led to the death of Becket’s brother and co-pilot, Yancy. Raleigh had disappeared after that and Gipsy Danger had been decommissioned. It was tough enough to link minds with another pilot to Drift successfully - Sehun didn’t need to work with someone with the kind of baggage Becket had. If they thought he’d pair up with Becket….  
  
“No,” Kyungsoo interrupted Sehun’s thoughts. “Yixing says they already have someone in mind for Becket…..and for you, Sehun.”  
  
The thought both intrigued and frightened the younger man. It had taken enough time to match him with Joonmyun, the older man keeping him stable as they Drifted. When he’d been injured Sehun had felt lost, half-blaming himself for the accident that left the other with mind-numbing headaches and an inability to link with Sehun - or any other pilot for that matter - anymore. This left the youngest pilot ever in the Pan Pacific Defense Corps stuck behind a desk and his Jaeger, the Choyonghan Bada - Silent Sea - in dry dock. He was itching to get back into the fight, a promise to a long gone father left unfulfilled.  
  
If Yixing said he’d found a match - well, the gentle Chinese man _was_ the leading Psych Analyst for the Pan Pacific Defense Corps. All of his matches had worked out so far, with some of the Jaegers with the highest kill tallies bearing pilots sharing the same neural bridge that Yixing had suggested. He’d matched Sehun and Joonmyun and in the older pilot Sehun had found the stability he had lacked. And now he was supposed to have a new match recommended by Yixing? As long as it got him back into the fight...  
  
Why did that thought not reassure him?  
  
“....Jongin seems like a good guy if a little too laid back for me,” Sehun heard as he was pulled back from his internal thoughts once more by Chanyeol’s booming voice. “What? Who’s Jongin?”  
  
Kyungsoo stared at his best friend in disbelief, then shook his head. “Sehun, did you not hear a word we were saying? Thought you’d be interested in who Yixing thinks might work with you best. He’s got Becket paired up with Mako Mori - not sure how _that’s_ going to work out - but you might want to know about the rookie he’s got you paired up with.”  
  
“How did you find out about this? And who is Jongin?”  
  
Sehun arched an eyebrow as the usually stolid programmer squirmed a bit in his seat. “Yixing and I were discussing it….at dinner last night,” he mumbled, earning a low whistle from Chanyeol. Sehun found his lips curling in a smirk - this would be something to use to tease Kyungsoo later - but instead focused on the task at hand. “So about Jongin….” he prompted.  
  
“Kim Jongin. Fresh out of the Academy in Seoul,” Kyungsoo started and Sehun almost groaned. He did NOT need to work with some newbie who would shit his flight suit during the first real battle. “Not as young as you were so your record still stands but eager to prove himself.” Kyungsoo paused, studying his friend. “I see that look in your eyes. Give him a chance, Sehun.”  
  
“We’ll see.”  
  
Kyungsoo shook his head, knowing what that meant. Once Oh Sehun had his mind set on something he stuck to it. After his father died he was determined to become a Jaeger pilot and get into the Academy and he did it. After that he set his sights on being the youngest pilot to ever graduate and earn his own Jaeger and he accomplished that too. It was part of what made him such a good pilot - but also what kept him so alone. He felt bad for Kim Jongin.  
  
 _Kid doesn’t stand a chance._  
  
  
  
“Fucking Kim Jongin,” Sehun muttered to himself six weeks later as he stared into his bowl of cornflakes, poking at the soggy cereal with the back of his spoon, coffee growing cold as he complained about his partner as Kyungsoo set down his own tray, the programmer seating himself across from his friend.  
  
“What happened now, Hun?”  
  
This had become a routine for the two of them since Sehun had been paired up with Jongin. Frankly, Kyungsoo didn’t get it. Kim Jongin was a nice kid, taught in a dance school in Seoul before joining the Academy. Happy family life, well-adjusted, friendly in a shy, awkward kind of way. Damned good pilot too from what the programmer had seen of his flight simulations. Not quite as good as Becket or Sehun but pretty damned close, if any asked him. (Of course he’d never mention that to Sehun, especially in the mess hall when the younger man was around any sharp objects).  
  
“He’s too fucking happy, Kyungsoo.”  
  
Wait, what?  
  
“You know how we have to link, right?” At the other’s nod he continued. “The only things he ever thinks about are dancing and freaking puppies. Puppies!”  
  
Sehun slammed his spoon down on the table, soggy cornflakes making their escape from his bowl onto the table, a last futile attempt at freedom.  
  
“He should be taking this shit seriously. We are preparing to fight giant monsters from your worst nightmares and he’s thinking about the next dance move or what to feed Monggyu.”  
  
Kyungsoo choked on his apple juice, laugh trapped halfway up his throat. Coughing a few times, the older man shook his head.  
  
“Quit moping in your mocha, Sehun. You could do with a little positivity in your life. Jongin’s a good pilot. No, he’s not Junmyeon but I think you need something new this time. Besides, you haven’t been able to link with anyone else, have you? Face it, if you want to get Choyonghan Bada back on the frontline Jongin is your only way.”  
  
Just as Kyungsoo finished his words the two heard someone clearing their throat. Looking up, Sehun saw the man they had been talking about standing in front of them awkwardly, tray in hand.  
  
“Mind if I join you?” Jongin asked tentatively, shy smile in place. Kyungsoo smiled in return and scooted over, gesturing for the other to sit. “Please do. I wanted to talk to you two about a few thoughts I have about some maneuvers you might want to try in Choyonghan Bada when you take her on another run tomorrow.”  
  
Sehun glared at Kyungsoo - why hadn’t the other mentioned anything to him before? - but Jongin perked up, nodding at the programmer with enthusiasm. “That sounds great. She’s the most agile Jaeger in the fleet. We should take advantage of that.” Sehun had to admit, he liked the pride he heard in Jongin’s voice when he talked about their Jaeger.  
  
Later on Sehun would ask himself when he had started considering the Choyonghan Bada both his _and_ Jongin’s.  
  
As the weeks continued, Sehun found himself growing more at ease around the other man, his frowns less deep and his body less tense as he formed a neural link with Jongin.  
  
"Neural handshake initiating."  
Sehun took a deep breath and closed his eyes, readying himself. The first seconds were always disorienting as the mind adapted to the presence of someone else. And--  
  
 _There._  
  
Jongin’s dreams continued to be for the most part happy but Sehun soon discovered that there was more to the man than puppies and dancing. Kim Jongin was driven, just as dedicated as Sehun was but in his own way. His raison d’etre wasn’t revenge but rather protection of everything he held near and dear - the smile on his mother’s face when he brought her flowers, the laughter of his sisters, his father’s warm chuckle. One dream was a birthday party that left Sehun with a grin so big and so lingering that Chanyeol wouldn’t stop teasing him about it for days. He saw why Jongin carried a picture of his family in his wallet, taking it out to run callused thumbs over the well-worn photograph, his expression echoing the smiles that gaze out at him from it.  
  
Sehun’s dreams were not as clear or distinct as Jongin’s and his co-pilot noticed. Sehun never dreams of his mother. The man that Jongin assumes is Sehun’s father is little more than a shadow, hazy and dark and nondescript and Jongin feels a sense of loss whenever Sehun thinks of him. This was the man that Sehun had looked up to the most and the Kaiju had taken that away before the connection could be deep and complete.  
  
The memory that plays a most prominent role in Sehun’s mind, one that Jongin sees time and again, is that of a tiny skiff floating on what in a 9 year old’s eyes seems like a vast sea but is likely only a small lake. It’s just Sehun and an older man on the boat and it feels like they’ve been there many times before. There is a look of Sehun about the man’s mouth and eyes and there’s no doubt in Jongin’s mind that this is the grandfather Kyungsoo told him about.  
  
The dream is usually pleasant and uneventful but this time something doesn’t feel right. .  
  
It happens suddenly - one moment the skies are clear and the water is placid, the next cumulonimbus clouds form, the sky darkening and the air growing ominously heavy. That’s when the wind picked up, beginning to toss the small boat around like a toy.  
  
“Stay down, Sehun!” the old man shouted as he tried to steer the craft towards the shore, only to find the boat beginning to rock dangerously, water starting to fill the bottom. The boy’s eyes glazed over and he began to convulse, the storm growing more and more violent by the moment.  
  
 _This isn’t how it happened. Kyungsoo told me Sehun’s grandfather died last year…._  
  
Jongin’s eyes widened as he realized what was happening - Sehun was chasing the rabbit. Random Access Brain Impulse Triggers (or R.A.B.I.T.) were an occurrence where you latched onto a memory - or the glimpse of a memory, even if it was false - and became trapped. Sehun had never chased the rabbit before….in fact, he was the one who warned Jongin about it.  
  
 _"Don't follow the rabbit, Jongin. Random access brain impulse triggers--memories. Just let them flow. Don't latch on. Tune them out. Stay in the drift. The drift is silence. Embrace it.”_  
  
The memories weren’t the problem, Jongin realized belatedly as he stumbled. It was the feelings attached to them. They’re overwhelming, like a wall of sound. Pain and fury in equal measures. Hard for him to think, hard to find his footing.  
  
Jongin tried to reach for the child, to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, only to find his fingers passing right through. He surfaced enough to pull, hoping it wasn’t too much. “Sehun!” he begged. “You need to come back….please….” Finally there seemed to be a flicker of awareness and Jongin latched on. “It’s me, Jongin…...it’s me…..Sehun…..c’mon…..”  
  
He pulled Sehun towards the gentle hum of Choyonghan Bada, knowing that Sehun loved his Jaeger...it was a contact point, something to bring him to the surface, to help the memories fall away.  
  
Sehun’s eyes snapped open and he sat straight up, ripping off the attachments and removing his helmet, his eyes wild with fear. He looked over at Jongin, his link still tentatively in place. “Thank you….” he whispered, then before Jongin could say a thing he ran off, stumbling down the hall as if drunk.  
  
Sehun didn’t stop until he was in the center of the huge space that was the Shatterdome, staring up at the Choyonghan Bada, nestled in her dock, chest heaving as he fought to catch his breath. He never lost his sense of wonder as he looked up at her sleek, deadly frame. He reached up, pressing his fingers against her cool metal shell. An extension of himself, powerful where he is helpless…  
  
 _Gone gone gone. Even grandfather. Nothing left but revenge._  
  
Sehun’s lips tightened to a thin, pressed line as he swallowed down the emotion that threatened to claw its way up his throat from from deep in his stomach. He blinked rapidly as moisture gathered in the corners of his eyes and his vision began to blur. Choyonghan Bada said nothing, his secret safe with her.  
  
Jongin found him this way, fingers never leaving the haven of the Jaeger’s shell. “Sehun, I….” he started, not sure what to say. The emotions he felt just before Sehun broke the link - the fear and pain….the loneliness of placing the weight of the world squarely on his own shoulders. It was only a matter of time before that weight broke Sehun.  
  
“You aren’t alone, Sehun…..not anymore,” Jongin murmured, stepping up to Sehun and resting a hand gently on his shoulder, willing to pull away if the touch wasn’t welcomed. “I won’t let you be alone.”  
  
Sehun let himself be led down the hall, Jongin’s hand guiding him carefully. They paused at Jongin’s room, the sloe-eyed man looking at Sehun uncertainly. “Can you make it back to your room? I can walk you down the hall….” he offered quietly as he leaned forward, breath warm against Sehun’s cheek.  
  
Before Sehun could even think of what he was doing he found his lips crashing against Jongin’s. He wasn’t sure who initiated the kiss but after a few awkward moments it didn’t matter. Jongin tasted of green tea and those peppermint candies he liked to suck on and Sehun was sure his own lips were mocha-flavored. The sound of footsteps around the corner prompted Jongin to blindly reach behind him and run his hand over the scanner that opened the door to his own quarters, pulling the slightly taller man after him.  
  
Once inside, Sehun found himself slammed back against the door, Jongin’s lips capturing his and that long, lean body pressing against his own. The neural link was gone but fragments lingered as they always did and he could tell that he wasn’t the only one who wanted this.  
That and the bulge grinding against his own, impeded only by the thickness of their flight suits was another indication.  
  
As if Jongin knew what he was thinking (and chances were those fragments were helping out with _that_ ), the tanned man’s callused fingers gripped onto the zipper of his suit and began tugging, even as he nuzzled into the junction where neck and clavicle met, lips warm and wet.  
  
“Let me take care of you, Sehun...please….”  
  
Suit opened, Jongin’s fingers skimmed down along Sehun’s skin, a smile pressing against his neck as Sehun shivered, nipple pebbling almost instantly as Jongin’s fingers teased. Once both nipples were hard and aching Jongin moved on, fingertips reverently caressing the flat planes of Sehun’s abdomen and dipping into his navel.  
  
Jongin pulled back as his hand moved lower, his usually shy smile bearing something of a smirk. “No boxers, Sehun? I don’t think that’s in the protocol…”  
  
Sehun gasped, heat flooding his stomach slowly as Jongin moved his hand, fingers curling around his length and beginning to stroke. He could see himself in those fragments of the link, see the way he looked in Jongin’s eyes: disheveled, completely undone by what was happening. He didn’t even realize when Jongin had dropped to his knees, pushing Sehun’s flight suit aside to bare him completely. What he did notice was the moment when Jongin’s lips sealed around his cock, those callused fingers kneading his taut backside.  
  
Sehun closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of Jongin’s lips and tongue and whispering ‘more’ in a hoarse voice, his own fingers running restlessly through Jongin’s hair in encouragement. He came with a cry, clutching at Jongin as his hips bucked forward.  
  
Jongin leaned back on his heels, wiping the remnants of Sehun’s release from the corners of his mouth (and Sehun couldn’t help but think that was the sexiest thing ever) before looking up at the other man with that same shy smile, no trace of smirk to be found.  
  
“Come to bed…”  
  
Clothes were shed, bodies moving in sleek connection - where Sehun stopped, Jongin began and vice versa. Lips and tongue and teeth, skin sweat slick and hair damp. The connection was there...the link was stronger than anything he’d experienced before. Sehun wouldn’t be alone anymore. It was perfect.  
  
It.  
  
was.  
  
perfect.  
  
 _It was wrong._ the words echoed in Sehun’s brain as he awakened hours later, Jongin’s arms tight around him. He was alone - would always be alone. This was just the neural link keeping them connected after what had happened during the last Drift. He sat up, taking care not to awaken the other man.  
  
Just the heat of the moment, right?  
  
Right.  
  
Jongin didn’t need his kind of baggage.  
  
Sehun said nothing more as he sat at the edge of Jongin’s bed, pulling on his trousers and wincing slightly. He ached but not unpleasantly so.  
  
As he turned to leave he missed the lingering glance Jongin gave him.  
  
  
The first Kaiju with Jongin as his co-pilot didn’t go down easily, its long tail whipping around and sending Choyonghan Bada flailing to the ground. However, once they got over the surprise of the initial attack the Jaeger was steady beneath their feet, and Jongin looked over, smiling all lopsided at Sehun as the neural link took over.  
  
The second was easier...and by the time they took out the third it was starting to get _fun_ \- and after each encounter Jongin and Sehun found themselves in one man’s quarters or the other’s, the “heat of the moment” turning into something more.  
  
  
Sehun jerked awake as the alarms blared, alerting the entire base of the appearance of a new Kaiju. It may have been Sehun’s imagination but there seemed to be more desperation in the sound this time, as if something bigger and badder than usual was about to happen.  
  
His speculation was confirmed when he heard the whispered “three at once” as he strode quickly down the hall, flight suit half zipped and hair askew. Three Kaiju appearing at the same time from the Breach...it was unheard of. This was it - it was what Sehun had been waiting for.  
  
He met Jongin in the Shatterdome, Choyonghan Bada standing bright and ready for them. Even without initiating the neural handshake he could tell that the other man was nervous. Hell, he was too and for the first time he wasn’t ashamed to admit it. As they headed towards the Pons he felt fingers curl around his own. “We’ve got this,” Jongin murmured, looking straight ahead.  
  
“We do.” came Sehun’s response. He nodded at Becket and Mori as they passed them on the way to Gipsy Danger. There was a look of desperation in all of their eyes, only superseded by determination. It was three Kaiju now - who was to say there wouldn’t be four next time, each one bigger than the next? Then five….then more…..They had to go to the source of the Kaiju - they had to go to the Breach. Chances were some of them wouldn’t return…  
  
It was a chance they had to take.  
  
Sehun gritted his teeth as the spinal clamp latched into place - he’d always hated that part, even though he knew it was necessary.  
  
 _Left hemisphere calibrated._  
  
“Everything okay, Sehun? I’ve got your back, you know….”  
  
Sehun allowed himself to glance to his left, meeting Jongin’s grin with a slight smile of his own.  
  
 _Right hemisphere calibrated_  
  
“I know.”  
  
 _Two pilots engaged in neural bridge. Initiating neural handshake…_  
  
Strangely enough it felt like coming home when the link locked into place. Jongin melded with him better than Joonmyun ever did and it was only now that Sehun realized.  
  
Too bad this was basically a suicide mission.  
  
 _You know the plan, Jongin?  
  
Yes, give Gipsy Danger time enough to reached the Breach and detonate the nuclear core. Core explodes, closing the Breach and bam, no more Kaiju.  
  
If only it was that easy.  
  
Have some faith, Sehun. We’ve got this._  
  
They’ve named the Kaiju entering from the Breach Scunner, Raiju, and Slattern. The first two were bad enough, Category IV Kaiju and the biggest Sehun had ever seen. But Slattern -  
  
Category V.  
  
There had never been a Category V.  
Sehun knew it was a cowardly thought but he was grateful that Striker Eureka was ordered to face Slattern first.  
  
That wasn’t to say that the other Kaiju were easy - far from it. Raiju was heavy armored along its back and head and surprisingly fast. Things were going well, Gipsy Danger taking the lead and drawing most of the attention of Raiju as well as Scunner and allowing Choyonghan Bada to attack from below, along the soft underbelly where the Kaiju’s armor was weak.  
  
Just when they thought they had it cornered the Kaiju shifted, ripping Gipsy Danger’s arm off and snapping it in half before whipping around to clamp onto Choyonghan Bada. Its crocodilian jaws would have crushed Sehun’s side of the Conn Pod but for the first time Jongin took the lead and tried to throw them sideways. It was enough to get Sehun’s side of the Conn Pod out of the way ... but not Jongin’s.  
  
 _NO!!!!_  
  
As they fell back Sehun felt Jongin try to yank himself out of the Drift to spare him the pain of his death as the Kaiju’s teeth broke through the Pod but Sehun held onto the link as tightly as he could. In a last act of desperation (and as he felt Gipsy Danger’s sword taking advantage of the weakness Choyonghan Bada had shown her, sword bisecting Raiju from head to tail) he pulled himself from the Driftsuit and jerked Jongin closer, reaching over to flip the manual switches to eject them to safety. The escape pod formed around them as Raiju fell away and Gipsy Danger went after Scunner and Slattern but all Sehun could feel was the man in his arms as they broke the surface of the water and rescue teams brought them to shore.  
  
It wasn’t long after that there was a great blast, the impact of which rocked them miles away. Had they done it? Had they closed the Breach?  
  
After the pod carrying Becket and Mori emerged from the inky depths of the ocean near the Breach with a flurry of bubbles Sehun had kept scanning the water, eyes alert as he held Jongin carefully, his partner’s head gently resting in Sehun’s lap as fingers ran through singed hair, digits coming back bloody. Where one pod had come there had to be another, right? He unconsciously had crossed his fingers, much like his 9 year old self would have done, murmuring a silent prayer, begging for other survivors.  
  
There were no other pods. The ocean stayed as silent as the lake in his dreams. Even as he heard the Marshall announcing the stopping of the war clock he knew there would be no more.  
  
Crimson Typhoon - gone.  
Cherno Alpha - gone.  
Striker Eureka - gone.  
  
He had barely known the other Jaeger pilots and now he would never get the chance. The taste of victory was bitter on his tongue. He had put everything he had - everything he was - into winning.  
  
Victory cheers rang bittersweet, muffled into white noise that roared in Sehun’s ears. His smile was grim as he accepted the congratulations of others with a brief nod and if he clung a little too tightly to Jongin’s injured form as the medics came to take him to sickbay - well, no one would blame him.  
  
Weeks passed. After the celebrations, the praise from the world governments that had once decommissioned the Jaegers and then tried to take credit for the subsequent victory; after the world began to clean up and try to remember what things had been like before the kaiju had disrupted everything; after the Shatterdome was scrubbed clean and the janitors and technicians had been assigned to civilian jobs closer to home, Sehun found himself alone for the first time in a very long time, not quite willing to leave a place that had become home more than his own, even as the mess hall echoed in its emptiness. When someone is a Jaeger pilot, even when they're alone they still feel the echoes of their co-pilot's memories, of their shared time in each other's brains. Jongin was recovering at home, his injuries thankfully not a serious as they had first appeared. Sehun was grateful for that.  
  
Jongin - was special. _Is_ special.  
  
It was probably for the best that he return to a real life - he had one to go back to, after all.  
  
Jongin certainly didn’t need _him_.  
  
“I heard from a certain programmer that you were - and I quote - ‘moping in your mocha again’.  
  
Sehun looked up in surprise to find his co-pilot standing at the end of the table, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans. _Civilian wear_. They looked good on Jongin, unlike Sehun who felt stiff and awkward out of his uniform. _He_ looked good, the little voice inside of Sehun remarked. Jongin had let his hair grow out, no longer a crisp military cut (with singed ends) but with artfully mussed curls that tapered at the base of that long neck. It was as if the war had never happened and Sehun shook his head bitterly, staring back down at the cup curled in his hands, the liquid inside no doubt lukewarm by now.  
  
“What are you doing here, Jongin? Figured you’d stay home for as long as you could once they made sure the trench was closed. Don’t you have some dogs to take care of? Rugrats to teach the polka?”  
  
The other man offered a wry grin and a deep chuckle. “My parents are watching the kids - Monggyu likes my sister better than me now - and I’d prefer to teach contemporary but that can wait. The guy I was working with before the Academy, Jimin, has pretty much taken over the classes. He’s good.” He pulled up a chair beside Sehun and just let a comfortable silence settle between them, waiting for Sehun to speak.  
  
“I don’t know what to do, Jongin.” Sehun’s usually stoic voice was bleak and Jongin could even imagine moisture collecting in the corners of the blonde’s eyes. He didn’t have to be linked with the other to know he was hurting. “Ever since my father died my dream has been to avenge him, to beat the Kaiju. Now we have and everyone is getting back to their normal lives - or making new ones. Hell, Kyungsoo is moving in with Yixing. They’ll probably adopt some spacy, sarcastic little orphans and have their happily ever after.”  
  
Sehun paused and Jongin waited for him to continue. And he did, his voice growing quiet.  
  
“Choyonghan Bada has been decommissioned. They said they are going to clean up what’s left of her and put her in a museum. Preserve her for posterity, or some other shit like that. Maybe they should do that for me too. I don’t fit in, Jongin. The seas are silent and I don’t belong anywhere anymore.”  
  
Finally, he said, "We stopped the apocalypse. Saved humanity as we know it. Now we have a future. I should be on top of the world right now, but—"  
  
“But you feel lost,” Jongin finished the sentence.  
  
“The water is too still, Jongin,” Sehun murmured, sounding much like he had with his grandfather those many years ago.  
  
“Is that necessarily a bad thing, Sehun?” Jongin asked quietly, fingers as callused as they had been before now once again curling over Sehun’s.  
  
“Maybe now it’s time to not wait for someone else to stir the water but to do it yourself. You don’t need Choyonghan Bada. You don’t need the Kaiju. You don’t need your father. It’s all you, Sehun. _You_ can make the seas move….make new plans, dream new dreams. You.”  
  
Jongin paused, hand gently squeezing Sehun’s.  
  
“You aren’t alone - if you don’t want to be,” he whispered, leaning closer to the blonde man.  
  
Sehun squeezed his hand back.  
  
“I know.”  
  
  
  
Sehun once again found himself bobbing in a small skiff on Cheongpyeong Lake and once again he wasn’t alone. However this time it wasn’t his grandfather with him but Jongin, wearing the floppy hat Harabeoji had favored and looking entirely too gorgeous wearing it.  
  
 _Well, technically Harabeoji *was* with him…_ Sehun thought to himself as he cradled the tiny, intricately wrought urn in his hands - hands that he refused to admit were awash in a fine tremor that didn’t seem to want to quit.  
  
“He said he wanted his ashes scattered here.”  
  
Jongin hummed his agreement as he held the fishing pole in one hand. “It’s a nice place.”  
  
It was then that Sehun felt the first drop, and then another.  
  
He felt Jongin’s fingers curl around his own as they both looked up into the sky, then followed the rain down to where it fell against the water, each droplet marring the perfect stillness. They were getting soaked but it didn’t even matter anymore.  
  
 _They need something to inspire them. Something to make them want to move._  
  
His grandfather’s words echoed in his head and he looked up, eyes meeting Jongin’s as they exchanged something much greater than words.  
  
 _Oh, how right you were, Harabeoji. How right you were._


End file.
